2011...

25th birthday was the best celebration I've ever had between seeing most of my old friends at midnight and continuing on later that night with the new friends. Joint party with Bryce.
Beginning in January the boyfriend and I lived in Terry's house and watched her dog, Madyson, while she and her fiancee went around the southern half of the country looking for a place to move.
First Legion show I've been to since I was a teenager. Rockabilly began invading Sioux City with the Reckless Ones. Swing dancing for me!
Hot tubbing and space brownies with Libby for Valentine's Day.
Watched the aftermath of the tsunami that crashed down on Japan. Amidst the dead a nuclear plant experienced a meltdown. Little has been said of it lately (nearly a year later) despite the happy amount of radiation released into the environment.
Tripped to NYC for St. Patrick's, a holy day in my family. Up front for the Fifth Avenue parade. Ellis Island with cousin Julie. Dancing at an alt/goth club. Found a bar hidden inside the false wall of a telephone booth and proceeded to drink with a Fort Worth police officer who's been in multiple COPS episodes.
Terry returned in the latter half of April after finding a new home in Santa Fe. She was ousting most of her stuff so she ended up gifting much of it to me. After helping her pack and seeing her off, life returned to normal.
TSOL in Omaha with Fish.
Bought a 1978 Honda Twinstar.
TSOL in Sioux City with Liz and Libby.
The Missouri River flooding was the highlight of summer.
Worked at Saturday in the Park from beginning to end with my classmates.
Learned to break boards in QiGong.
A motorcycle accident nearly took my best friend. Fish spent a week in the hospital. Justice never caught up with the dickrot who left her for dead in the road; we can only take solace in that he's always looking over his shoulder for karma and the law. Best of all- Fish did not die.
Graduation. I wish to paint many words many directions in my little corner of the internet regarding this day. Trite as it may be, only one works outside my head: Bittersweet.
Tripped across South Dakota for week-long camping all through the Badlands and Black Hills with the boyfriend.
Tripped halfway across Iowa to round up Zim and see Nekromantix with her and Fish.
Boo Boo & Beau moved to California.
Learned how to can with Bonnie.
October trip to the east coast for graduation celebration/Halloween.
Made a trip through the Wall Street protests and stopped in the makeshift library and gathered information on rights organizations. Overall the movement's ideals could actually be beneficial for this country except the demonstrators proved too lofty and unfocused.
The Damned in NYC. Check seeing favorite band off the bucket list.
Witnessed my first Nor'easter, a freak October one at that. It turned out to be a big deal when the leafy branches collapsed with snow weight through power lines and people's roofs.
Was a part of the Halloween parade in the Greenwich Village.
Upon returning home Ann showed me how to get my sewing machine up and running. At the concert a few people had stuck around to ask stagehands for the set lists. I, on the other hand, asked for the fake rose between speakers behind the bassist, which Ann fashioned into a hair flower with an antique glass button and black tulle.
Found gainful employment as a therapist. I adore my profession.
After nearly 6 years of waitressing in the same place the restaurant closed. Tearing everything out, telling dense customers wandering among the mess to fuck off we're closed, and destroying the walls was just the sort of purging needed after working in such a demeaning job under an abusive owner.
Roller skating on New Year's Eve. As humorous as it is, being taken to the skating rink is a dream date.

2012 so far has been... I don't know, actually. There's nothing to complain of and nothing to look forward to each day. The restaurant closing occured between Christmas and New Year's. Happiness was a Sisyphean task for me throughout January.
Following such a year of accomplishments and expansion, being idle and limited on money has gotten to me. After going from a cash-on-hand job as a server to living between paychecks it took a while to pull myself up by the bootstraps. Renewing my practitioner's insurance was expensive however necessary.
My 26th birthday turned out rather uneventful. After the stress of shutting down a restaurant I wanted it that way. Guy took me out to the Reckless Ones show.
Destroying the interior of an old building laden with mold and dust brought my health down just enough so that I didn't feel charged each day for the entire month. At the last doctor's visit before my student insurance expired they dicked me around and nothing whatsoever was done for the low-grade respiratory issue. Mum stepped in with her leftover antibiotics.
In the downtime I've accomplished my spring cleaning. A warm winter has allowed me to open all the windows and get air flowing through the house.
Deleted my facebook account. During the previous year I ranted continually about how useless it was yet kept going back until I took it down altogether. I haven't really missed it. As a matter of fact I've barely touched the internet the past few months. I go about as far as asking google a question or listening to music on youtube. Even my poor livejournal has suffered neglect.
I've returned to my previous school to finally obtain a degree after four years of dicking around there with nothing to show for it. The only thing standing in the way is a computer class. Deferred loan payments the ulterior motive. Already I hate being back in that school.
Last weekend I attended the workshop Brooke put on as a part of her graduation in the instructor's program. We were taught Esalen massage and knocked out 12 of the 24 continuing education credits required for license renewal, something I don't have to worry about for 2 years. The gathering of bodyworkers helped bring out the positive energy that's been dormant within me all this year. Since, I've steadily been feeling better.
For so many good friends moving away I have gained one back, new and shiny. Tara. She attended hippie school in the same graduating class, and Lonnie always chastised the two of us for being too analytical. Together we are the dark-haired earthy Irish girls with an interest in mysticism. Her specialty is palm reading.

This year I am resolved to move, hopefully out of Sioux City. The location I refuse to reveal until plans are set in stone, also to avoid everyone's opinion that will be heard whether I want it or not. If all goes well I will be going far away. Currently I'm working out the financial planning and trying to save as much as possible with what I've got. The goal is to be moving mid-July or later so that I may enjoy one last Saturday in the Park and 4th of July with my family and friends, and to be gone before winter. I don't know how well I would handle another full year here. Only now that I'm trying to disengage my mind from Sioux City do I find its traces of beauty. My brain likes playing tricks like that.

mood: determined music: 'Love My Way' - Psychedelic Furs tags: damned, dirty jersey, gettin my learn on, life, siouxicide city, the lowly waitress

2,053 deliberate nuclear explosions.

mood: disgusted

Vainglorious.

music: 'Sex Beat' - Sex Beat

If you google "black milkman and eyeballs" the first result is Henry Rollins.

mood: delighted

This past half month has been

refused x-rays & sunrise over Wisconsin & ho phones & dangerous pineapples & car fights & dinosaur bones & 13 clocks & Frankenstein love & blue cheetah hooker heels & purple snakeskin & Saturday night trains & a neurotic ginger frontman & Damned dancing & Damned flowers & making magic & Occupy Wall Street books & foiled Greenpeace muggings & wrong lines & Anton LaVey & questionable dishwashers & Frida Kahlo jalapenos & stolen skulls & borderline serial killers & Egyptian food & an October nor'easter & live wires & flying witch hats & 2 black cats & heads on sticks & 3 God is a DJ moments in 1 day & sunset over Pennsylvania & happy omelettes

mood: upside down music: 'The Passenger' - Siouxsie & the Banshees

Back in my bedroom, having a nightcap while watching Bride of Frankenstein by candlelight. Damn it's good to be back.

mood: peaceful

Discovered a new age shop down the street from the family bakery, purchased an elemental book, marched in the Village Halloween parade, danced to 'Thriller' in the streets with dozens of other costumed freaks, had not one but two black cats cross my path. All Hallow's Eve was pure success.

mood: winning

I'm very suddenly in love with the antics of the frontman for The Legendary Shack Shakers. His stage presence was captivating throughout flopping around like a landed fish, rooting around in his pants, ripping out chest hair, tossing it into the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. Annnnnd their music was slammin.

As for The Damned, I cannot convey the experience however I may try. Naturally on their 35th anniversary tour they began with the entire set for Damned Damned Damned. Monty Oxy Moron was dressed like a Baroque era composer bastard with paisley shoes while the Captain was garbed in something akin to old British schoolboy's uniform and Dave Vanian was flashing about in fitted mirrored shades, mustachioed and charming as always. While 'Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde' was opening Dave turned this way and that for the crowd to see both sides of his face. His profile as he leaned on the microphone stand is seared into memory, there to stay for ever and ever. Going from rocking out to The Black Album in my living room to having it played for me live I danced stitches into my ribs. The sharp notes are still tearing at my ears. I can still feel the bass trying to stop my heart. At the end of it all I got a white new rose from the stage set.

I nearly wish I had taken a photograph or a video for posterity, but I was less concerned with preserving the moment and more about living in it.

mood: victorious

Museum of Natural History, feasting on greasy street gyros and smoke in Central Park, broke down subway, taxi clusterfuck complete with motion sickness, St. Mark's Place for blue cheetah hooker heels, jumping turnstiles, swinging 2 trains back across town, latenight Paranormal Activity. How has your day been livejournal?

music: 'Lovers In The Backseat' - Scissor Sisters

A selection from 2010 photography class portfolio taken with my Pentax K1000 and a couple of fun scans.

( The cost of fried chicken in New Orleans is well below the national average. )

music: 'Baby Please Don't Go' - Rose Mitchell

As I've been organizing my school notes into one binder I decided to include this list. Reading it always gives me warm happy confidence even on awful days. In Holodynamics class every student had to stand before everyone and the others would name traits and impressions to describe each girl. Kathy came up with some of the wild ones like being a banker in the 20s with a pinstripe suit and Errol Flynn mustache.

Brenna is (a/an)...

care taker
Irish fairy
strength
communicator
teacher
independence
criminal investigator
sophistication
tiny but mighty
painting coordinator
mousy
self-suficient
capable
lily-pad jumper
mysticism
purple
conspiracy theorist
intuitive
knows who she is
actress
free spirit
loyal friend
open sense of humor
clairvoyant
smart
spiritual
floating
fun
simple
complicated
mischievous
straightforward
logical
elegant
aristocrat
chimney sweep
kind
mental time traveler
warrior princess
dominatrix
quick-witted
introverted but extroverted when need be
royalty
artist
calm
pirate
costume/wardrobe coordinator
self-driven
entrepreneur
women's rights activist
vintage
gypsy
intense
wild imagination
diplomatic dog
(psychic) medium
busy
analytic
old Chinese sage
original
1920s gentleman banker
adventurous
(loves) swords
Robin Hood
designer
youthful
dedicated
firecracker

mood: loved music: 'Electric Feel' - MGMT

The morning started on the good foot when I found my newly purchased original pressing of The Damned Black Album waiting for me outside the door. At Saturday In The Park there was a gorgeous white and purple dress that some other lass would have absconded with had I not been there so early. In the evening I got to yell at drunken fuckbrains, swing from bars and walk on people to the tune of a fantastic Led Zeppelin cover.

mood: elated music: 'No Quarter'

With the floodwaters come hoards of insects. It's like the Amityville Horror outside my window.

Guess who didn't listen when the universe was trying to warn about the cosmic rainstorm outside. During it all I managed to leave my copy of Hunchback of Notre Dame at work so close to the end. Quick side note- there has been a lot of skewed material edited out between the Lon Chaney film (and for obvious reasons, Disney) though the 1939 version with Maureen O'Hara is rather dead-on. The novel's antagonist is the archdeacon Frollo, a highly intelligent and brooding individual fixated on alchemy until the gypsy turns his attention. I would assume the heretic undertones were nixed for public consumption. It must've been bad enough when the book was published nearly 200 years ago. The heroic Captain Phoebus was a manwhore who narrowly missed dying and said nothing while a false confession to murder and witchcraft was drawn from Esmerelda through a torture session. Many words wasted on the layout and architecture of 15th century Paris though I can certainly see it in my head, and there's this weird insinuation about a vagabond poet and his love for Esmerelda's goat Djali.

By chance I found the last volume of the Sandman story The Wake, which needed finishing.

I began the series at the end of senior year in high school before losing it in the background to all the crazy things falling on my head during that first year of independence. Then, the first two arcs disturbed me on levels I couldn't fathom. It was most likely Gaiman's candid view on the gore and sexuality, especially in '24 Hours'. I picked it up again a few years back and caught many more references this time around. His works pans all universes, from all mythology to history to fictional works to alien planes to song references to his own perceptions of concepts like chaos and order, with every single character's mannerisms encapsulated so fittingly. Neil Gaiman knows no bounds in the way he blends our world into the surreal through words. Combined with subtle imagery such as placement of Death and Despair in Morpheus' gallery as he's having a conversation with Shakespeare about how the author has lost so much youth and joy for his work, the entire team of artists put together wonderful graphics to back the storyline.

Looking back on it all I wish to read it again to get a better grasp on the nonlinear plot. Perhaps another time, perhaps it won't take so long.

"I wanted a tale of graceful ends."

mood: lethargic music: 'Dreams' - Fleetwood Mac

This weekend has been

slow days & rockabilly & black dresses & swing dancing & feral drunks & flying fists & bloody cop cars & restraining order violations & jail trips & Liz-A-Palooza & party party party & 4 a.m. & tripsitting & electric tattoos & carnival bats & stone birds & fading green & TSOL & sideways torrential rain & unscrupulous men on our heels & out of order ATMs & dead batteries & broken phones & bruised knuckles

music: 'Bloody Holiday' - Nekromantix

Had me some apple pie moonshine. It was delicious.

music: Buck Rogers

"They took the pay phones out. Nobody uses them anymore," the clerk says to the girl seeking a pay phone.

mood: frustrated

Only two eggs were left in the fridge. Perfect for an omelette. The first one was green, as in pickle juice carry-it-outside-so-you-know-your-eyes-aren't-playing-tricks green. I decided against it. The second was okay, though I probably shouldn't have eaten it. I'll know tomorrow.

I would like to thank Sir Elton John for bringing out the middle-aged divas of Sioux City to try and ravage my life for an evening. Old age is not what I fear, it's becoming this:



Precisely why I'm not a girly girl. Such irritating mannerisms aren't what grated at me, it was this entitlement mess with a hairdo so awful I won't liken it to any animal so as not to disrespect the poor thing. I won't start with details - though I was pleased that she got so pissed off she mocked me because I was extremely busy and couldn't cater to her every whim. Not gonna lie, I would've liked to carve her scalp up with a broken glass for a minute. Let's hope the wilted tit got pissy-drunk at the show and forgot about throwing her underwear, much less her problems with one slammed waitress.

Getting back to all car affairs when I have the energy to write about them at a later date. Right now - $75 for a tank o' juice? Jesus Christ Superstar, thank you for bicycles!

On my way home a white Dodge Ram came soaring up in my rearview before narrowly cutting around and right in front of me. It was obvious that multiple stickers have been peeled off for the adhesive partially remained, and the engine purred just like the truck driven by a guy who stalked me for a couple years. I honestly don't know if it was him, I only know it left me with that shaky feeling like I distantly wanted to cry from the stress. Sometimes I like that I'm often disconnected from certain feelings. What bothers me is that the urge remains.

mood: unsociable music: 'From Your Mouth' - God Lives Underwater tags: push button, the lowly waitress

Tastes like sweet Saturday freedom.

mood: jubilant

T-minus 5 days until total decompression. They've been allowing me small breaths here and there.

Finals are much easier now that Hydro is gone. Tonight I have to test run a vegan dish to be brought to the Natural Therapeutics final, plus I have to finish making a genogram so that I may gain a better idea of how my family has affected me as a person in both nature and nurture perspectives. Also must finish journaling on the brown rice and dosha diets.

Last class consisted of the juice affairs. Vegetable juice was sort of a freak-out. I quite enjoyed most of them, even celery- I fokkin hate celery. Yet for the very first time in my life I found myself not caring for garlic. Since it was raw, the single tiny clove that Danielle threw in the mix burned all the way to the stomach. I chose to provide beets and apples as well as 2 reports on vitamin/mineral content. Beet juice isn't too terrible, it just smells/tastes like dirt. Luckily we had to mix apple juice in anyway, not only for taste but for the fact that straight beet juice is said to paralyze the vocal cords. There was a frightening red foam whipped up over the liquid. I started using it to stain my lips... and it's that perfect shade of blood-red that I've spent hours looking for and still haven't found due to my pale tone. There was my epiphany: try to make natural lipstick with beet juice. To this Kathy replied that makeup was once made with beets and other vegetables. Can't go wrong with earth shades. If this turns out well it could become a lucrative craft for me.

Today's class Kathy just asked us to clean, mainly the computer lab. The cramming of awkward chairs into that small room drove me up the wall after the holiday fundraiser and so I reassembled it a few months ago, only we didn't have the uniform small green chairs currently in the school's possession. So yes, much better. The students also tended to the small details like washing windows and eraser boards. Robin kept us through lunch in QiGong just to review notes before the tests at the end of the week and make us use Tiger Balm, then let us out at noon.

Muchly looking forward to all the down time. I'm feeling the desperate need for spring cleaning. Not that my house is all out of order; everything needs to be dusted and straightened, furniture needs moved for vacuuming, etc. There's a small jungle in my front window that must be rearranged. I hate having only northern & southern exposure. At least I'll have time for the garden. Since taking Herbal Studies I've been keeping a steady list of plants necessary for more self-reliance when it comes to cooking and home remedies. I also want to try natural pest control solutions (mostly deer) so I don't have to worry excessively about sprays interfering with the desired chemical results.

Scavenged a luncheon of leftover Easter from my mother's house. Now home with everything already tidy with laundry mid-cycle. It's about time to hang out on the couch and catch today's Little House before I go to Terry's and continue in helping her move. She's taking very little with her. I've already helped her clean, hold a yard sale this weekend and have been packing whatever is asked of me. Meantime we've been traipsing all over town between Goodwill and the gold dealer. In the whole move she's given me
***another lawn flamingo ***a massive snake plant, a jade that doesn't look too thrilled, numerous spider plants and wandering jews ***a new (30 year-old) butterfly knife ***a coffee table ***a basket for my medicinal oils and tinctures, jars for the herbs ***a huge array of books (reference tomes, Vonnegut, Poe) ***stacks of obscure VHS flicks that I probably couldn't find on DVD ***a besom broom ***trays of rocks that now reside with the houseplants ***the dishes she's had for 30 years. All fine things.... I just don't like the feeling that I'm flying away with the pickings of someone's past. Not someone so close to me, at least. I've known Terry 4(?) years now. Between our eclectic personalities encompassing traits from off-humor to enthusiasm for literature/movies and my referrals to her worldly knowledge, she's become a dear friend. Watching her material life go out the door is a bit painful because I know at the end I'll never see her again.

mood: busy music: 'Where You Gonna Go' - Demented Are Go! tags: gettin my learn on

Is Charlton Heston gonna bust a sexy party? Why yes he is.

music: Soylent Green is people!!

Being late as always, a few days ago I was pressed on the matter of paying insurance or making it to work on time. At the last moment I thought screw it, I was in no mood for cancellation policies. Had I not made that left turn I wouldn't have seen the boy longboarding down the sidewalk while playing a guitar. I cannot convey the greatness.

Yesterday I was running late to work again. At least the chap on a pink Vespa going along Pierce Street made up for it.

Last Sunday, Guy and I decided to ride through Grandview Park. As we made our way up the road a car drove by with a bunch of kids yelling. At the top they sat on the curb over the hillside until we got close, then rolled down their window and just looked at us. I yelled "Do it!" Down they went. Carsledding. It brought back the teenage days when we went in old checker cabs and Cadillacs.

There are two hearses rolling around town. One black with purple flames owned by a guy who attends Briar Cliff, the other straight black driven by a guy who randomly wears a top hat behind the wheel. The other day I found out that it's my long-lost buddy Joe. Last time I saw this lad 3 or 4 years ago, he was the poster hippie kid. I still can't quite believe it until I see it. Earlier today the black hearse was behind me a block. Despite my best efforts to idle down Hamilton, he didn't catch up to me before my next turn. I need to see that boy.

A while back I saw something about purple potates on television and have been curious ever since. Today after a bike ride I wound up at the Asian supermarket where I found a large violet spud for tomorrow night's dinner. Test results to follow.

On the way home from work I saw what started as two guys pushing one another in that friendly combat manner that males do. [Side note- girls aren't allowed to do that with boys when they grow up and they just don't with each other. It confuses the boys. I miss it.] All of a sudden the taller of the two shoved the shorter against the building, proceeded to grab his head and ram his face into the wall. He got a pretty good kick in while the guy was down. I've learned not to interfere with raging testosterone, especially not when it's coming from two hoodlum-looking boys. I sat through a green light and waited until I was sure the receiver of the whoopass didn't have massive hemorrhaging or anything of the sort. Hopefully no brain damage.

mood: morbidly amused music: 'Molly's Lips' - Nirvana

Imagine all the Doctor Whos, drunk, on pogo sticks.

music: Leprechauns laughing

I opened a new package of bread only to discover the loaf was wrapped in cellophane inside the plastic bag. WTF, really?

This week has been

off days & wrong connections & 40 feet of meat & old friends & long-lost family & evil eyes & talismans & boats & dreams & cathedrals & flags & kilts & pipes & drums & badges & axes & seas of green blood & monetary karma & phone booths & walls & dolls & cops & bondage belts & foxy dresses & kindred spirits & flying high across the moon & one black cat awaiting my return

mood: jetlagged music: 'Devil's Dance Floor' - Flogging Molly tags: dirty jersey

Happy Ash Wednesday!

mood: wicked filthy music: 'Bodies' - Sex Pistols

A koala's brain is the size of a tomato.